The last couple of months of my life has revolved around the Prefects Guild, Prefects Guild this Prefects Guild that, and what not. But hey, I know I didn't ask for this, neither did I want or dream of this, but to some twisted fate in me I got it. Now what? Can't keep blaming the system, gotta go with it.
December is here, all over again. I remember her saying how much she loves the December wind, and that was on christmas 3 years ago. The feeling though never gets old. It's frankly odd, this new lease of life that I'm having. But I know it's just for the best, I gotta live with it, like this. "Wars come and go, but my soldiers stay eternal" said Tupac, but "Trouble come and go, but my friends stay eternal" It's them who can grab the two ends of the line written below my nose, and shape it into a semi-circle of happiness. Letting go, is one thing I should realize and acclimatize myself with, being a Buddhist, but it is one of the hardest things to do. I started with letting go of Rukshi for good, knowing that someday somewhere down the line, I am more than capable of making my parents happier. And the other, on a lighter note, is letting go of facebook. What kind of a bullshit remark is that anyways, but here I am the same, but with one less friend for all of my online friends.
Sometimes, I try to be Machiavellian in my doings, and I seem to have got an inch of a hang at it, but more rather than not, it has left me pondering for hours after. Because once I try to start changing who I am, I start questioning my consciousness. Eventually, I understand that even change should come in sizable doses.
Shit happens. But life goes on, but at one point in the latter stages of 2010, I couldn't take it anymore. But then I realize, everything that happens, seals a lasting impact on the person I aspire to be. The crap we get now, is like pebbles along the path to many people, and I know that by learning how to kick away those pebbles I will one day learn how to tackle the boulders. but till I am ready to take on the boulders, let's just capitalize on kicking the crap out of my life.
The only thing I have left in me, is Lord Buddha, My Parents, My siblings, My bokkas and Hope for an year that will morph my life for good.
