I don't live in a Utopia, Nobody does

Life is not all about happiness, joy and success. It's about that, and sorrow, failure and disappointment. Life is not a Utopia, though we may all think it is. This has been my over-cliched phrase but I guess i have to say it again "If there's a climb, theres bound to be a fall" and the only thing you can do on your part, is to bounce back. You get knocked, you get ashamed, you get the icy feeling in your stomach over and over again. Why? Beacause your afraid of what other people might think, what they might say. But then you, but then I, realize that it's no worth pondering about other people, when its MY life.

Exams are an important part of our lives, whatever said and done. Exams can get you to places, make you someone, but it can also destroy your system. Sometimes it makes we wonder how we judge ourselves by what we write on a piece of paper for 1 and half hours, wheras the actions we do are sometimes turned a blind eye on. But, that's the law of life, if it's written on a paper, there's proof. Proof that you studied your butt off and wrote your best in that tiny space of time. Wheres the proof that you worked your butt off to make the place we live in better for others?

It's just the mind that I have to control, I guess this disappointment will leave me solaced for a few days, but it will also help me become a better person. I'll realize the realities of life, I'll understand things better, and I definitely did learn a lesson. It's always easier said than done to forget things and get back on track, but that's exactly what needs to be done. Disheartening to know that I couldn't live up to the expectations of my mum and dad, but it's more than heartening to realize I've got the best parents any human being on this Earth can ever have, and no I'm not saying that for sakes. I mean it, with every cell that I've been made of and every neurone that links to my brain, and with every blood vessel that links to my heart. They are a part of me, they are who I am, and who I will be.

There's lots of things that I have to think of, and take action to. The past week has been filled with drama. Being the head boy is definitely not a piece of cake, its a thorn crown. Thorn crown or crown or whatever the hell it is, I've got it and i cant say no. It's time to stop cursing it and realize that it's given me strength to cushion this fall. It's thought me to man up and face anything. And i will face anything, as it comes. It's just the ice in my stomach that I have to melt. Yesterday was another episode, and the man who made sure nothing fell out of place, is my dad. I don't know how in the world i can ever repay for what he's given me. Lord Buddha and my parents, are my saviours, they are the souls that are there for me at any given time. And I realize that it's just them, and a few friends, my darling sisters and certain people that I find to be inspiring. Whatever that I've been thinking of other people, or maybe to be frank, one other person, is wrong. People should know how to comfort, and not be pain in the butt. Seriously, it's common sense enough. Things that really upset me but I guess I'm in for a big revelation in my life. And it's all going to start with letting some things go and embracing the important stuff.

Damn, I'm seriously going to miss Kodda. He's one of a kind, and it's now that we can actually grasp the philosophy behind his words. Im glad everything went well. Indiviuals, Sachitra, Mr.Ghouse. Thanks. Sachitra you are the best Deputy ever. The amount of work you do sometimes goes unnoticed and is even sometimes made fun of, but you do it with heart. That bit I know even if anybody else doesn't. And I guess it's because of your parents. They are GOOD people, really GOOD people. Mr.Ghouse, thanks for giving me the inspiration to look back and say, I dont have to worry. I'll take this as a signal to correct my wrongs, and in your own words "You fall, it's great, you come back 10 times stronger and kick-ass" I will!